Beyond the Surface

Perception doesn't always reflect reality. We've all heard the timeless adage, "Don't judge a book by its cover," echoing through our lives. Yet, despite this wisdom, society often finds itself trapped in the habit of snap judgments. But why? Perhaps it's because peering into someone else's life feels far easier than examining our own.

When I made the decision to step back from my full-time career in law to prioritize my family and pursue another dream waiting patiently in the wings, it wasn't a choice made lightly. I grappled with feelings of guilt for not contributing equally to our household income and fears of how others would perceive my decision. Despite having a supportive spouse, it took time for me to recognize my own value beyond my career achievements. Only through introspection did I realize the inherent biases I had internalized regarding gender roles and societal expectations.

After I shifted the trajectory of my life, I encountered criticism and negativity from those who couldn't understand my perspective. Some viewed my decision as unconventional or questioned my priorities. However, I've come to understand that these judgments stem from a lack of empathy and an inability to see beyond their own experiences. While it's natural to have differing opinions, it's crucial to recognize that each person's journey is unique and deserving of respect.

In a world where perception often overshadows reality, empathy serves as a guiding light. By putting ourselves in others' shoes, we can begin to break down barriers and foster genuine connections. It's through empathy and goodwill that we bridge the gap between perception and reality, allowing for deeper understanding and acceptance. It's not about duplicating someone else's experiences but rather acknowledging their validity and offering support without judgment.

In the end, our lives are shaped not only by our actions but also by our perceptions of others and ourselves. By cultivating empathy and withholding judgment, we create a space for personal growth and mutual respect. So, the next time you find yourself quick to judge, pause and remember that perception is not always reality. Instead, strive to see the world through a lens of understanding and compassion. After all, our lives are only as rich as the connections we make along the way.

A Hero’s Tribute

They honor you today with heartfelt cheer,
Allow me to voice what they hold dear.
For though words may fail to convey,
Their love for you shines bright, come what may.

Each soul may boast a father's name,
Yet none compares, none bear the same.
Like Superman, your strength does gleam,
Invisible cape, heart's steadfast beam.

Your spirit, a beacon in the night,
Guiding them with unwavering light.
Through stormy seas and skies of blue,
Your presence, their anchor, strong and true.

Playmate, teacher, mentor, friend,
In every role, you do transcend.
Their laughter rings, their hearts elate,
For you, dear papa, make life great.

As role model, you stand tall,
Their compass, guiding through it all.
Amidst the crowd, you shine so clear,
Their greatest hero, year by year.

Kindness Unbound

Kindness doesn't always beget kindness. You may find yourself extending empathy and compassion to someone, only to find that they don't appreciate your efforts. It's a situation many of us have experienced, leaving us wondering how to respond.

It's tempting to give up and refuse to help others again after feeling hurt by unappreciated efforts. However, this reaction often stems from both legitimate hurt and misplaced expectation. When expectation accompanies an act of goodwill, the arrow of disappointment can pierce our spirits. Only by giving without consideration of the outcome, whether it's recognition or receptiveness from the recipient, can we walk away fulfilled.

Relinquishing expectations isn't easy—it goes against human nature. But it's a skill that requires self-awareness. Often, we attach ourselves to outcomes because we lack a strong sense of self. With a solid inner core, we can remain secure. When we tie our actions to expectations, our ego comes into play, leading to disappointment and blinding us to the bigger picture.

Consider the last time you showed kindness. Did you expect acknowledgment, even subconsciously? If not, you might not even remember the interaction, having learned to sprinkle kindness wherever you go and live life unburdened by expectations. Detaching yourself from outcomes is incredibly freeing.

Motherhood exemplifies this concept for me. I shower my children with love and compassion, regardless of acknowledgment. While I undoubtedly cherish their affection, it doesn't influence my actions. Even if they never demonstrate love or appreciation, I'll continue to treat them lovingly. That's the power of unconditional love.

When interacting with those outside our inner circle, it's crucial to maintain our natural decency as human beings. Negative experiences shouldn't color how we view humanity or treat one another. My suggestion? Carry on and set an example. By continuing to spread joy and benevolence, we counter any gloom that threatens to cast a shadow.

Consider viewing everything in life as a gift rather than a transaction. Love is far more infectious than negativity. Deflect the arrows of disappointment by living lightly and loving abundantly.

Angel Wings

To a passing observer, you appear to be an ordinary man.
But that’s because they don’t know you as I do, your biggest fan.
No doubt I’ve been a thorn in your side,
On more occasions than I wish to recall.
Anyone else would have tried to run and hide,
But you’ve remained steadfast through it all.
Your beautiful soul accepts and loves without condition.
Your generosity is beyond compare,
As is your kindness and compassion.
Your eternal optimism and cheer,
Light my way so that I’ve no cause to fear.
So, I must ask, where are your wings, my dear?
Surely, you’re an angel in disguise,
Even though you humbly wear the mantle of a regular guy.
How did I not see that you’re the answer to my heart’s cry?

Kindred Spirit

A friendship that’s withstood the test of time,
A sister and a partner in crime,
A soul connection that’s hard to define,
A meeting of minds that instantly binds,
A silent understanding that requires no words,
A feeling of home and a haven from the world,
A love that’s rare and true,
What a sweet surprise to find it in you.

My Happy Place

My happy place is in my child’s face.
In the soft, smooth curve of his cheek,
In the warm depths of his gorgeous brown eyes,
In the sweet swell of his little button nose,
And, above all, in the bloom of his angelic smile.
I cannot conceive of a greater joy,
Beyond being the mother of this darling boy.

Perseverance

Stand tall, my beautiful son,
Your path has only just begun.
Always reach for the stars,
For you are destined to travel far.

The mountains and valleys you’ll face,
May slow you down and test your faith.
Persevere and remember love,
From those who’ve nurtured you here,
And especially from your protector above.

Let that strengthen and guide you,
So that even if you fall, you’ll confidently rise and begin anew.
My love, your life is a gift,
Live each moment fully and make the most of it.

Carpe Diem

What exactly does “live in the moment” signify? For those who grew up in the 80s like me, Robin William’s unforgettable line in Dead Poets Society, “Carpe diem, seize the day boys, make your life extraordinary,” may come to mind. In the movie, the main lesson conveyed is that of living life on your terms. 

I tend to focus more on the “seize the day” sentiment. It is an exercise in living that I grapple with daily. If I had to have only one goal, it would be to master living in the moment. Why? Because it may be the key to inner peace and happiness.

When we stop fretting about the future or bemoaning the past, we’ll likely discover that life will become far more manageable and productive. Worrying about outcomes that have yet to manifest or regretting mistakes long after the ink has dried expends precious energy that we could channel elsewhere. 

We only have control over what lies before us at this very moment. Reminding ourselves regularly that the future is not promised and that the past is long gone might go a long way toward keeping us tethered to the present. Moreover, each moment in time deserves our full attention because we may not understand the significance of it until later.

So, despite the promise of a peaceful, contented existence, why are few of us yet to master the art of living moment to moment? Understandably, our current societal framework makes doing so challenging. With the constant onslaught of media propagating our worries and fears and the buzz of modern life, it sometimes feels impossible. Furthermore, age factors in our mindset. 

The behavior of the young is a conundrum. Children’s innocence, sense of invincibility, and immortality make it easier for them to think and act according to what’s tangible; they have little use for the past or future. Yet those characteristics also make them careless in appreciating life, as they see no end. While adults may better comprehend the importance of daily gratitude, they’re often too beleaguered and dizzy from the hamster wheel to stop and smell the flowers.

Though well-versed in how fleeting life can be, I’m still guilty of forgetting to live each day to its fullest. When my sister passed unexpectedly during her prime, I thought for sure that I would never again take life for granted. But for a period following the trauma, I lived in paranoia about the future, fearing that the lives of my remaining loved ones would also be eclipsed without warning. And for years, I agonized over the painful loss, the permanency of it, and my lack of control over it lingering like a festering wound in my heart. 

I didn’t genuinely start appreciating the gift of each new day until it dawned on me that I had taken every blessing in my life for granted. Instead of relishing each one while I had the time, I’d wasted precious time and energy focusing on things that weren’t even within my control. Only when I recognized that I did my sister a disservice by not taking advantage of every moment left in my life did I understand its meaning.

How many days have passed in which we haven’t done anything to lift our soul, help someone, or spend quality time with our loved ones? How much time do we spend trying to cheat death instead of living in the moment when life is certain? 

Ultimately, it’s up to us to teach our young to respect life and treasure even the seemingly trivial moments. Each of our lives has a purpose written in the stars. And until it’s met, we’re meant to live, learn, and love. So, embrace the moments as they come as if they’re the last. Fill each with love, joy, and kindness. Let that be your legacy. Carpe diem.

Pieces of Me

Do not measure me by the roles I play.
Lawyer, writer, daughter, wife, mother,
None define my worth.
I am neither one nor the other.
For each is a piece of the greater puzzle,
Designed by the One who orchestrated the purpose of my birth.

Look beyond the stereotypes.
Judge me not for what I bring to the table,
For I want none of your preconceived labels.
Instead, value the kindness, love, and compassion I strive to spread.
Only then will you genuinely understand and see,
The real ME, the person I was always meant to be.

Fragile

You said I was as tough as nails.
But, inside, I was fragile like glass.
Every time you handled me cruelly,
My tender heart cracked.
Until it shattered completely,
And there was nothing left for you to smash.

But perhaps I am made of stronger mettle,
For I did not stay broken.
Instead, I picked up the pieces and fused them together using resilience and hope.
Today, I wear love, compassion, and faith as my armor.
In truth, my sensitivity and vulnerability have now become my secret power.

Sisterhood

Sisterhood, a bond like no other.
It's an understanding deep in our souls,
That binds us together.

 Downtrodden in man's world for so long,
Unequal pay and underrepresentation.
Why do we continue to play along?

The ancestors who paved the way call upon us to use our voices.
After all, what's the point of the right to vote,
If we're still given such few choices?

Show them what it truly means to be a woman.
Not just a life source, 
But a pillar of strength and a life force.

There's little we cannot do.
It's up to us to show the next generation, 
That you and I can rule the world too. 

Wildflower

Beautiful, wild, and free,
You are Mother Nature’s gift to humanity.
The strength and resilience you embody,
Resonates so fiercely inside me.

Your brilliant hue instantly sparks cheer,
Always serene and resolute,
Whether solitary or in a group,
My heart warms when you appear.

Your simple presence elicits pure joy,
And brings smiles to everyone’s faces.
You grow as if by magic in the most unexpected places,
Yet clearly, you are heaven-sent and meant for us to enjoy.

My spirit has found its match in you,
Unbroken, steadfast, and true.
Your ability to flourish in the harshest surrounds,
Inspires me to persevere and let hope abound.

Divine Grace

A lesson lived, a lesson learned.
Mistakes and regrets are yesterday’s tears.

Awakened to the beauty of new beginnings,
Gratitude soars now, eclipsing my age-old fears.

Through divine grace, I’ve been given a respite,
To understand that true healing comes in forgiving.

With my soul unfettered,
Peace is on the horizon.

My life’s purpose and my passion,
Now lies in teaching love, hope, and compassion.

Spinner

I am the spinner of my life.
How much of the web I weave is made of simple truths,
And how much is spun from the beautiful lies I tell myself?
Curiously, I am far more prescient when it is to others that I proffer sage advice.

Perhaps it is the inventions of my mind that create the sticky net in which I’m so often mired.
How much of the design you see is my true self,
And what must I do to release the inner me?
Letting go of fear is the key.

Fear is my most effortless creation.
I spin it endlessly.
So much so that I forget it’s only a fabrication,
And give it so much power that it clouds my vision.

Only when I learn to love and trust the person looking back at me,
Will I escape that mesh of fear,
So that I may finally gain mastery of my life,
And spin the masterpiece that it is meant to be.

Every Day is My Birthday

No, I'm not a narcissist. Nor am I suggesting that I want birthday cake every day. Of course, I'm not averse to a bit of pomp on the veritable day that I came screaming into the world, and I do like to have my cake and eat it too! But what I've come to realize is that every day is a rebirth. Every morning that I wake up, I get to start anew. Perhaps not quite like a newborn in that I've already left my imprint in the world through the relationships I've formed. Still, each day is a chance for my soul to refresh and make the most of my time here.

Time. How often do we ignore that it's not a given? The abrupt loss of my sister made that abundantly clear to me. Yet even I need to remember to live day to day and to make the most of each one. Why is it so easy to take time for granted? I no longer have the blissful ignorance or naïveté of childhood that let me behave like I had nine lives or, better yet, immortality. Is it that I allow my responsibilities to overshadow its importance? Or that I've stopped appreciating time altogether?

I don't celebrate each day as I would a birthday. Typically, on my birthday, I take stock of my strides in the past year and reflect on the blessings in my life with gratitude. Moreover, I tend to look upon the year ahead with hope and motivation. Just as every new year brings the promise of renewal, so do birthdays. Birthdays are supposed to remind us that we're unique and worthy of celebration. What would happen if we mentally reminded ourselves of that every single day?

In the spirit of one of my favorite characters in Anne of Green Gables, I urge you to celebrate each day as a new beginning with no mistakes. Every day is an opportunity to make your mark, give life your best, and enjoy it to the fullest. Give time it's due by recognizing that it's not infinite and by making each day count as if it were your birthday. And, if you want to throw a party every day, too- who's to say otherwise?

The Balancing Act

The key to living harmoniously is balance. I’m sure you’ve heard the proverb, “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy,” as it’s stood the test of time. Less known, perhaps, is its counterpart, “All play, and no work makes Jack a mere toy.” In other words, we need to maintain an equilibrium between the different aspects of our life. But for many of us, that’s easier said than done!

I have a notoriously sweet tooth. Sometimes, the one thing that keeps me from overindulging is my mother’s voice, repeating like a broken record, “do everything in moderation, Kalyani!” Whether I’m limiting screen time or junk food with my children, I often spout the same sentiment, if not the same words, having recognized the wisdom of it. My youngest always laughs in amazement when I tell him that you can go overboard with healthy food as well, like eating too many carrots and turning orange!

So how does one go about leading a balanced lifestyle? The best place to start is by making a list! Prioritizing can prove challenging. If everything is laid out right in front of you, it’s easier to see how the different pieces of a puzzle fit. Write down what you value and determine if you’re giving enough attention to it.

Since our existence relies on health, I’d say that’s critical, if not THE most important! Yet, it’s often the one people most neglect. Why? Often, it’s because we’re burning the midnight oil, taking care of everyone else, or behaving self-destructively. Our mental health inevitably suffers when we neglect our physical health, whether through a lack of proper nutrition, exercise, or sleep. It can go in reverse, too, making it a vicious cycle. Whether it’s your mind or your body, the other will thrive if you take care of one.

Living optimally has to do with fulfillment and satisfaction, not perfection. Look at your list and set goals that align what you desire with how you live your life. What are your physical, mental, and emotional needs? Only when you incorporate those into what you’re required to do and want to do will you have actual control and ownership of your life.

Part of the balancing act is also learning to compromise. If you have a family, then you and your partner must prioritize so that responsibilities are symmetric. Otherwise, an unequal relationship becomes a breeding ground for resentment. Finally, finding enough time to achieve your goals often means simplifying your life. It’s impossible to devote yourself fully to anything if you have too much on your plate. If you want your family to spend more time together, try cutting out two hours of everyone’s screen time.

We’re all tightrope walkers in life. When you find your balance, the steadiness within will keep you upright.

What do you need?

To truly find contentment, it is commonly thought that we must distinguish between our needs and wants. Needs imply basic requirements to survive, such as water, air, and food; in other words, that which we cannot live without. But typically, we also include the intangible, like friendship, love, and security, among our needs.

Needs are supposed to be less than our wants, so we approach life practically. After all, we can want anything, including flying to the moon! Generally speaking, our wants are things we assume will improve our life somehow. But as our society grows more materialistic, our wants are often frivolous, not to mention numerous.

What happens when we have too many needs, though? These days the line between needs and wants has become increasingly blurry. One could argue that humankind’s continuing progress, especially technological advancement, naturally leads to a shift in what a person now considers a need.

But then, is that actual progress? If our needs are more complex as a result? How many of us consider a smartphone a need? They certainly make life convenient. But at the expense of what? Are we happier and more productive? For me, it’s a resounding “NO.”

There’s a reason simplicity works better. There’s less clutter in our minds and more room to focus on what truly makes us thrive— health, happiness, a sense of purpose, and love. As our needs grow, so do our stress levels and reliance on the external. But with less dependence, there is more freedom. Freedom to be.

What if we took a step back to when we had everything we needed simply by waking up to a new day, a fresh chance at living fully? Back when we treated our planet more gently, in appreciation of its beauty and its bounty. Back when we walked across the street and knocked at a neighbor’s house to pass the time. Back when we just needed the bare minimum to flourish because we had everything we needed in each other.

What do you really need?

Shadow Walkers

Shadow Walkers

By Kalyani Adusumilli

I see you, shadow walkers, my sisters from another land,
Shuffling silently, draped head to toe in oppressive black.
Following behind the cool, flowing white robes of your men,
Your life partners, yet also the ones who command.

Brilliant, expressive kohl-lined eyes are your communion with the world,
Conveying evocative messages through your only window, the rectangular slit we see.
Muted appeal for the rest of humanity to intercede,
To raise the alarm and set you free so that you may finally breathe.

Or so it seems to me, your sister across the sea.
What must I do now that I have read your plea?
Tell me how to help break the bonds that keep you a prisoner of the past,
So that you may live fully, as I do, the life that God surely meant for you and me?

The beauty of your face and your lustrous locks deserve to see the light of day,
Your mind is a vessel for knowledge and should be filled the same as mine,
The power to choose your path should lie at your feet,
Your voice is your passport, and it’s time for you to speak.

Sister, if you have no complaints, I will let it rest.
But if you seek my voice until yours is stronger,
Then I’ll gladly be your messenger bird and spread your word.
I’ll champion your cause until your song can be heard, ‘til you are caged no longer.

The Gift of Giving

The Christmas holidays are often touted as the season of giving. Because of the unfortunate commercialization of the holiday, there’s generally a mad rush to purchase gifts for loved ones, friends, and colleagues. The stress and financial burden of the season for many ends up eclipsing the celebration of God’s miracles and the spirit of joy meant to fill everyone’s hearts. Lamentably, such a departure from the holiday’s original significance implies that our children may not fully understand the true nature of giving. Moreover, relegating the act of giving to a particular season doesn’t exactly encourage incorporating the sentiment into our daily lives.

 So, what does giving mean? Assuredly, we can provide a physical gift adorned with sparkly wrapping paper and a shiny bow as a token of love, gratitude, or appreciation. There isn’t anything wrong in displaying our emotions through material means. Seriously, who doesn’t love a birthday present? And you’ve likely heard of the five love languages: gifts, affirmations, quality time, acts of service, and physical touch. But if you’re one of many who have read or watched Dr. Seuss’ The Grinch Who Stole Christmas, you also know that “maybe Christmas doesn’t come from a store. Maybe Christmas…perhaps…means a little bit more!”

 Returning to the love languages, the other four similarly represent acts of giving. Spending quality time with another, whether engaged in an activity or simply listening, verbally expressing your affection and encouragement, or helping your community-- all encompass the gift of giving. But a crucial component must be present for the gift to hold meaning. You must give from the heart.

 Giving from one’s heart is the underlying foundation of the gift of giving. When you give without expectation and purely for the joy it elicits in the recipient, you inevitably reap a reward in the lift of your soul and the happiness you derive from the giving. When we let go of expectation in general, whether we’re the giver or the recipient, the outcome is far more likely to be positive, and there is less chance for disappointment to cloud the experience.

 When Christmas or other holidays come around, my children know nothing delights me more than their crafts and homemade cards. No store-bought gift could measure up to the value I place on the painstaking efforts of their little hands. My ear-to-ear grin and bear hugs reward them. I’m not saying they don’t run screaming to open their Christmas and birthday gifts, but they’ve also learned to find fulfillment in donating their pocket money to wildlife charities, wrapping toys for less fortunate children, and spending quality time with their elderly grandparents. Among the values we teach our children, generosity ranks high in my household, not in the material sense but in spirit. 

 The beauty in giving lies in its accessibility. Wealth doesn’t define the giver. Not everyone may have the means to donate large sums to charities or spend lavishly on gifts for others. But everyone can give of themselves, whether in time expended, advice imparted, service rendered, or support offered to another person. Giving comes naturally for those who learn to love themselves first and cultivate inner peace. Only then does the gift of giving become ingrained in our psyche and behavior. We all have the capacity to love and, therefore, to share.

The Soft Heart

A latticework of scars envelops it.
Fresh wounds seep through its cracks.
Yet it holds steady, despite a skip here and there, momentarily pulling it off its tracks.
Its warm, soft center belies the toughened exterior.
Continuously pumping its lifeblood to sustain others.
Waiting patiently for the signal from above,
Telling it to endure, to keep beating,
To remain eternally receptive to the power that is love.